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roses, saved and dried, 2016.

mark atkinson June 25, 2020

I could jokingly say that I shoot a lot of dead things because I’m slow to get around to stuff, but that’s not totally true. I shoot all the time. So it may just take a while for whatever to appeal to me. And there is pressure in shooting something in it’s full glory prime. You know that time is short lived, so you better get on it, figure it out. You beg your minds eye to focus. Come on, you plead. So I’m often still thinking. Mulling and mulling as whatever flower or creature withers onward, unaware of being watched.

Then, more often than not, the right day comes around
and the light is good and that something has aged and dried
into shapes and surfaces, textures and shadows.

And there it is.

More interesting in death, than lovely in life.
A beautiful chaos of new clothes, none the Emperor’s.

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Lisa and the doc

mark atkinson June 19, 2020

Some years back I talked my good friend Lisa Bacon into meeting me in India to do a story on Dr. Hirji Adenwalla for CNN Traveller Magazine. He was a dear man and loved by all who knew him. Here is her story….


LIP SERVICE by Lisa Antonelli Bacon

On a sweltering Wednesday evening in March, rickshaws clatter through the front gates of Jubilee Mission Hospital to discharge passengers and pick up more. Villagers and visitors mill noisily about. Some have come for medical attention. Others have received it and are in the process of leaving. Over honking horns and loud chatter, the wails and cries of children blend into a cacophony that echoes in the crowded courtyard.

For nearly half a century, Dr. Hirji Adenwalla has gone to sleep each night and awakened each day to the same sounds.  Since 1960, he and his wife Gurnal have lived in a small cottage on the hospital grounds in Trichur, a town of 275,000 in Kerala, southern India. As head of the hospital’s Charles Pinto Centre for Cleft Lip and Palate, Adenwalla has changed the lives of thousands of children with birth deformities that, in countries such as India, all too often doom a child to a life of poverty and isolation.

When the Adenwallas came here in 1960, medical professionals were rare in rural southern India. Since opening in 1952, Jubilee Mission Hospital had provided a tiny beacon of hope. The small medical outpost had served a poverty-lashed, largely uneducated population.  A skeletal medical staff took care of everything from snakebites to starvation, and if the patient could not pay, they didn’t have to.

Times have changed. Now the place is well on its way to becoming a modern megaplex, with a 1,500-bed hospital, a medical school, and specialty and even subspecialty departments to care for all the needs of a population suffering from the illnesses and injuries of the 21st century. Jubilee’s mission mandate continues.

But growth and modernisation require financial belt-tightening and, whether the business is hospitals or hotels, free services suffer in the squeeze. The hospital now relies primarily on donations to cover the costs of the free treatment it provides.

Since setting up the centre, Adenwalla and his two staff surgeons have repaired the faces of over 8,000 children at no cost to the patients’ families. Although money is scarce, he believes the mission will survive. “More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of,” he says.

On a steamy night on the eve of the monsoon season, Adenwalla begins his evening rounds to examine the little faces he has repaired. The sun has disappeared, but people still pace around the moonlit complex. Many are parents of tiny patients who have travelled hundreds of kilometres to come here but who cannot afford a hotel room while they wait for their children to recuperate. After a full day of surgery, 73-year-old Adenwalla spryly climbs the two flights up a dark, crowded stairwell to the children’s surgical ward.

Women in saris share single beds with their babies. One mother lies beneath a bed with her small child, comfortable in the knowledge that her baby will not fall out of bed if she dozes off. Some of the women are mothers; others are grandmothers. All seem awed by their surroundings. They fan themselves and their children in the 40-degree C heat as two overhead fans struggle to stir the thick, humid air over 32 beds.

Using a household torch, Adenwalla looks into the mouth of tomorrow’s patient, a nine-month-old girl with loose dark curls. The gaping hole where the roof of the mouth should be means she cannot eat properly, a dysfunction that inevitably leads to malnutrition.

In more developed countries, cleft palate surgery is almost a routine procedure done soon after birth. In India, it is an expensive proposition costing 10,000 rupees ($220) for each of the two to four operations required for each repair. In a country where 350 million people still live on less than $1 a day, many Indian children go into adult life with gruesome facial distortion, deafness and speech disorders.

“They are complete misfits in a society which is not conditioned to treat such people with sympathy,” says Adenwalla. He adds that the risk or occurrence of this deformity can lead to abortion and even infanticide in certain parts of India. And because of their isolation and disconnection from society, those who survive into adulthood are frequently at the root of violence and criminal acts in their communities.

“Communication,” says the doctor, “a basic need for all mankind, becomes hesitant. Lack of communication leads to severe retardation of mental growth and the general process of learning, which is so important for a child. What you are left with is a sad caricature of a human being.”

Early the next morning, before the heat has enveloped the compound, Adenwalla drapes a sterile green smock over his tennis shorts and polo shirt before scrubbing up at a large sink that looks more like a horse trough with taps. In the operating room, cooled by a single air-conditioning window unit, he perches on a gingham-covered black stool at the head of the operating table. The antiquated seven-lamp fixture overhead is so old it looks like a UFO. Thankfully for Jubilee, it could be argued, when Adenwalla wrote to the German manufacturer for replacement parts, the company sent them free of charge. “Nobody uses these things any more, so they had the things lying around.”

On the table, all that is visible is a tiny mouth and nose, surrounded by a green cloth. Four people lean over a sterile area not much larger than a plum. Forty years ago, the scene was much different. Then the hospital had a total of four nurses and one surgeon. Gurnal, a young bride of 20, was Adenwalla’s only surgical assistant.

After some clipping and slicing, the child’s nose and mouth have disappeared, replaced by what looks like a smashed tomato. With the eyes of a hawk and the hands of a harpist, Adenwalla reconstructs a new face, one that will be as pretty as it is functional. As he knots off the final stitches at the end of the three-hour surgery, he hums Harry Belafonte’s Jamaican Farewell.

It has been a good day. The futures of six more children have been radically improved. And a representative from SmileTrain, a New York-based charitable organisation that has paid for approximately 2,000 surgeries at Jubilee to date, has brought a gift: a cheque for $45,000 that will pay for a much-needed headlamp and some naso-endoscopes, to replace the flashlight and tongue depressors staff have been using to examine and diagnose their tiny patients.

Still humming, the doctor heads for his cottage for dinner. Before he reaches the courtyard, a small, thin man approaches him with a piece of paper. It is a bill for 900 rupees. SmileTrain paid for his child’s surgery, but the ward was full so, afterwards, the child was settled in a three-bed curtained cubicle. The coveted cubicle costs 60 rupees (less than $2) a day. But the man, who says he makes 130 rupees a day, cannot afford it.

In the past, department heads were allowed to wipe a bill clear if someone could not pay, but that practice has been suspended. Instead, Adenwalla gives a portion of his salary to an office assistant who puts it in a fund. “It’s small, but when someone needs it to pay a bill, something is there,” he says.

​For now, the doctor seeks out an administrator to clear up the matter, but none can be found. “Under no circumstances are we going to bill this man,” he tells the discharge nurse. "If this has to be paid, I will pay for it. Not this man.”

When the morning sun reaches the top of the nearby Nilgiri mountains, a mist rolls over the gentle rows of tea bushes that swaddle their slopes, obscuring the world beneath. At the weekend, Adenwalla walks here each morning and again at night. His walks are long and relaxing, designed to keep him in shape after a coronary led to a bypass operation 10 years ago.

​A group of villagers stands by the roadside, staring down the mountain at a quartet of immense bison that have meandered into the tea bushes and are working their way back down the mountainside. A villager was gored near the same spot a few years ago, and although the details are lost in a torrent of rapid-fire Tamil, the gist of the conversation is that, while it may be a lucky treat to spot a bison, it is one to be enjoyed from a distance.

As the bison amble off, the villagers erupt in gleeful chatter. Walking stick in hand, the doctor heads back to Meher, the Adenwallas’ home near the former British hill station of Coonoor. It is five hours’ drive and worlds away from Trichur and Jubilee.

Back at the house, a comfortable bungalow situated on the mountainside overlooking the town, the doctor reflects. “My father didn’t want me to take up medicine. He told me, ‘Your maths is bad, your physics is poor. Your science is miserable. Take up law. Or be a writer.’ But boys idolise their fathers.” His father was, of course, a doctor.

In his small study, surrounded by family photos and books about Winston Churchill, Napoleon Bonaparte, and the Indian spiritual leader Meher Baba, after whom the house is named, the doctor is philosophical about the future of his mission. With sadness, he foresees the day he will no longer perform delicate facial surgeries. Later this year, he says, he will reduce his surgery schedule to three weeks a month. Next year, he will reduce it again, to two weeks a month. “I plan to retire gently,” he says.

But he worries. As the business of medicine advances into the 21st century, the mission aspect has not kept pace in many parts of the world, including here in India.

“When I came to Jubilee, I saw an aura about the place,” he recalls. “People who should’ve died didn’t. People who were terribly sick recovered. All the prayers!” To some extent, in the shift from mercy to advanced medicine, the doctor has lost heart. “People holding on are fighting a losing battle. I used to worry about everything around me. Now I take care of my patients. I have to have tunnel vision.”


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Coffee with Doc

mark atkinson June 11, 2020

Sometime in the mid 80s I drove out to the legendary Doc Watson’s home in western NC to photograph him for a state pub. Blind from eye infection before his second birthday, he later bought his first $10 Stella guitar with money saved from chores with his brother. In the kitchen on the morning I showed up, he offered coffee, pulled out a cup and poured the dark brew to the very top of cup, stopping perfectly before it would spill over the top. He smiled as he slid it across the counter to me. “Know how I did that?” he asked, feeling the question on my face. “I can hear it,” he offered. “I can hear it reach the top.” He won Grammy’s, played with the best and his music festival still draws tens of thousands - except this year. He might have been blind, but he could hear all right. All the good notes.
(These were originally 35mm Kodachrome transparencies we scanned and converted.)

Doc Watson’s braille pocket watch.

Doc Watson’s braille pocket watch.

slums, Dhaka, Bangladesh

slums, Dhaka, Bangladesh

Looking

mark atkinson May 21, 2020
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Luna, #02

mark atkinson May 8, 2020
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when luck wins

mark atkinson May 6, 2020

When great light and generous color and a creature of most elegant design come together, it can be beautiful to behold. I walked out of the studio late one night last week and beneath the outdoor light a luna moth sat. It was huge and beautiful and rare to see. Their populations have dimminished over the years and the moths themselves only live a week. A week to reproduce and die with flare. With nearly a 5-inch wingspan, their size is show stopping. To see something truly stunning could be called religious, though I’d hate to hurt feelings. I paced the studio for a few minutes, found an appropriate container, and gathered luna up. I rationalized, for sure he was later part of his week and in a sense would be donating his completeness to my incomplete science. I stored him in the fridge and took him to the shore, the studio in the bedroom upstairs. Sure enough the light showed up. Now luna gets to show off.

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A boy and a man and a pick-up truck

mark atkinson May 1, 2020

I don’t remember a thing about this photograph, except that I shot it when I worked for the Raleigh New & Observer in the 80s. Not part of an assignment I’m sure, but likely some grab shot when I was grabbing anything and everything trying to figure out if I was gonna be good at this work. I found the print in the attic recently while cleaning out old stuff, throwing things away. What I like about this shot is that I still like this shot. After 30 some years. Maybe more so now. Now that my vision has cleared a bit. Creative people are tough on themselves, and I’m no different. Was that story any good? Are my paintings important? Is this photograph worth a damn? It is the punishment added to the struggle to be better, that we always question. So there was something joyful about seeing a photo I hadn’t seen in years, and thinking to myself - that’s a nice image - glad You kept at it.

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A lesson in turning around

mark atkinson April 23, 2020

When I was a newspaper shooter years back I was sent out to cover a motor cross event one weekend somewhere in Wake County (NC). Kids on hyped up scooters jumping moguls and trying to speed their way around a course carved out of a spit of land that used to be a farm. I’m sure I got what I was asked, the action shots and sliding wipe outs, but my favorite image came when I looked away, turned around and saw this mom. Folding chairs, a pickup, great sunglasses and an umbrella through her legs. It’s always about showing up, but it’s also about looking around.

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toy truck, mine.

mark atkinson April 22, 2020

toy truck, circa 1962 (still life series, the things we keep)

I don’t know why I still have this, though the short answer is I’ve somehow failed to throw it away. I certainly haven’t carried it around since I was a kid for some sentimental reason. It was likely “regifted” along with other personal things when my mother sold her house - to move closer to her grandson - and redistributed boxes of her children’s stuff back to said children to have and to hold, to toss or keep. I kept this truck, set it on my desk, told my boy this was your dad’s toy. He was unmoved I’m sure. It was simple, rolled awkwardly with a couple of missing wheels, didn’t light up, or make great noise. I have no recollection of playing with it, or that it was even special to me as a child. But once I had one - a child - it brought a little joy just seeing it, knowing where it’d been. What had been an object of affection as a child now realized a second life in the last 20 years sitting on my desk. Just maybe, during this time, we can appreciate even embrace simple things that may not have much value but bring joy in the memories they conjure. Joy is a good thing to have around.

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#21 | still life series

mark atkinson April 20, 2020

She stopped telling me her secrets and her dreams. Before I knew it, her dreams became her secrets.
And I was no longer a part of her dreams.

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#23 | still life series

mark atkinson April 20, 2020
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Tourists, Heidelberg Castle

mark atkinson December 20, 2019
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Walker in Iceland

mark atkinson October 23, 2019
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Magnolia Series, June 2019

mark atkinson June 5, 2019
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The Light in the Bedroom

mark atkinson May 19, 2019

For much of my career I’ve shot in places that I’ve never returned. Foreign countries, unfamiliar streets - markets filled with activity and people - where countless visuals are there to be taken in or missed. Mostly, I have no opportunity to return and perhaps refine my gaze or interest. But here at the home on the shore, my bedroom becomes resplendent with light that filters through the old glass in these windows. I came to the shore often in the run up to the Hermitage show, to work on the edits and angst over the words that would open the book and ponder whether anyone would come. In the mornings I’d drink coffee and read in the bedroom to begin the day, later moving downstairs to the computer and bike rides, lunches outside. On sunny days, as the afternoon lengthens, the bedroom comes to life again. It’s as though the “studio” is opened. And at the foot of the bed, I work this canvas shooting still lifes of one sort or another. Strange and beautiful things I’ve kept or gathered. Playing with the arrangements, the focus or lack of - enjoying what comes to life. The light of course moves as the day heads to over, and I follow it’s path, rearranging whatever I’m shooting to the pools I’ve been given. And then it’s gone. A perfect party, finished. It’s different now as spring moves to summer. The big trees are leafing out and the light more mottled than the stripped down winter beams. Different certainly, still beautiful.

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Remembering My Sister

mark atkinson May 14, 2019

THINGS WE KEEP: The old china plate, long separated from it’s set, lived for years as a saucer beneath a clay pot of summer geraniums on the porch of my sister’s house, having migrated with her from Richmond to Raleigh. When friends later came to divvy up her plants, it was left on the steps, it’s lovely earthen patina revealed. I wrapped it in newspaper and stuffed it in a box of other things I would haul away, careful not to disturb the evidence of its aging. If inanimate objects have a soul, and why not really, I imagined this plate thinking, why me?, placed in a box with other “special” things. I’ve asked myself that, later going through things I’ve kept. And all these boxed up items, sitting patiently wondering if maybe someday I’d come back to them and find purpose for them once again. “Shoot me, please....” they say. And eventually I do.

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Something in the Water, Virginia Beach

mark atkinson April 28, 2019
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Noelle, Beecroft & Bull Spring 2019

mark atkinson April 25, 2019
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Holly pregnant

mark atkinson April 15, 2019
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My Father's Wallet

mark atkinson April 1, 2019

Mom as she appeared in my father’s wallet circa 1972. There were 8 photographs of her in his wallet, all fabulous and pics of all four children (one of each). She turned 90 on April 1st, 2019, an April fool to no one. The best mom and the best friend to all who know her. No one has dealt with adversity with more strength and grace, always full of love and support. She remains a testament to the inspiration of a life well lived. Happy bday mom, so many love you, so lucky we all are.

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