Modern Love and my sister

My younger sister sent me an email about an article she read along with some thoughts of her own. I am intrigued by what stirs people to forward something and talk about. As if its a small way of knowing what stirs people's souls. So look at this two page article and enjoy. Along with my sis's comments below.


I was really struck by this article for some reason, even though I'm no longer married and it didn't directly relate to my scenario. it stayed with me after I read it the other night, though, maybe more from the perspective of being a person in 'mid-life'.

I guess I just thought she wrote eloquently about what a struggle it can be to undergo so much change and angst and self-doubt as you get older -- and that that's even harder when you're simultaneously trying to be not only a good partner but a good parent. how many people have you seen completely abandon the trappings/the scaffolding of their lives thinking that will fix the way they feel and then end up with the same angst, plus all the fallout from the divorce?

all of that aside, of course I know all too well that sometimes it is the relationship that's causing a lot of the pain and it's not just a matter of sticking with it and working through your individual 'stuff.'

the one glaring/annoying thing was that I thought that her speech to her husband didn't sound like something a human being would say; it was way too calm and clinical ... like something a completely detached psychotherapist would say, instead of a human being in pain. I'm guessing the actual conversation was not quite so calm, and maybe she couldn't print the exact words she chose...

try to remind myself of the two Big Life suggestions I was thinking of painting on a sign for my A.

1) Be kind.
2) Pay attention.

The first one seems to be damned hard for some human beings to pull off, particularly with the people they're really SUPPOSED to be the most kind to... the second one covers a lot of ground, I think .. paying attention will keep you safe, make you successful, ensure that you don't miss out on a lot of very cool stuff around you that most people don't notice AND paying attention usually helps you be kind, as you notice when people around you are in particular need of it.

Okay, I'm done now. Sis.